Is Closure Necessary?

Hey guys,

I have one question, is closure necessary?

The year is coming to an end, and everyone has experienced situations where they have realized someone was either here for a reason or season. Some relationships are a lesson to help you grow in all aspects of life. Others might have been a waste of time and energy, that gave you an eye opener to focus more on yourself. Though the season has ended, some carry the burden of uncertainty or guilt. Many people decide to seek clarity after a chapter in life comes to an end, yet, it’s for you to determine if it’s even worth seeking. You might wonder if the emotions that were established in the relationship was real and genuine. Always remember when seeking closure, be open minded and understanding. Do not go with intentions thinking everything is going to work out like the scenario you replayed in your mind a million times before arriving. This is life, nothing ever goes as planned.

To answer my own question, no. Closure is not ALWAYS necessary. Yet, it does vary depending on how the relationship ended. If things ended on mutual or good terms, no closure is needed because you basically said your peace already. Might even be a possibly for reconciliation, of course after distance and growth. Extinguish all bad blood, and build any bridges if it’s worth building. If the end of the relationship resulted from cheating, stealing, fraud or etc. surprisingly closure isn’t necessary either. Why? The truth hurts, especially from the person who’s caused the pain. No matter how much time could past, no one is ready to hear the truth and actually take it. Also, it’s an selfish act. You’re disturbing the peace of the other person by unloading emotions they either forgotten or trying to forget. It’s unfair.

If you believe closure is necessary, just know it takes time. It’s not something that should occur the first few months after the break up. About six months to a year, in my opinion is appropriate. It’s essential that you’ve both respectfully gave each other time and space. Especially if your actions were solely the reason(s) that led to the break up. Please do not use closure as a way to rebuild that relationship either. This is the last sentence of the chapter, no need to continue a story that has already come to an end. All things come to end, that’s why you always have to appreciate everything when it’s present. Even if the closure led to restarting the friendship that was already established, allow the universe to work it’s magic and enjoy the ride life has in store for you. If the love and bond was real, the person will always return. If not now, most definitely later.

Do you agree? If not, comment why. I would love hear you’re response.

Until next time

Also, comment any topics you’ll like to see me discuss for next month’s article.

22 thoughts on “Is Closure Necessary?

  1. Sis i agree w. You 100% ! Closure isnt always necessary if u ask me! Especially if we ended on cheating, stealing terms ect.. i dont need closure from a person like that! And most of the time people try and use closure as a way to get back in ppls lives!! No way jose lol thats why when its over i need my distance to get myself right! I dont need closure i need space okuuuuur. – viadari ❤

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    1. Right, it all depends on the terms of how the break up is needed. Just be cordial and respectful after the break up, no need to seek clarity. Protect your peace and theirs by keeping distance loll.

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  2. Loved the topic and enjoyed the read! Closure certainly isn’t always granted but I think it is desired to sooth the discomfort of a relationship ending. Often times closure is just a “tell me how you really feel before it’s really over” moment. Which personally, I couldn’t care to hear after I’ve already decided I’m over it!

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  3. Very interesting perspective on closure Kyla. For me, I need to be clear that we’re breaking up and hopefully know why. Whether he’s the cause or I’m the cause. Then like you said, give me my space so I can digest the situation and regroup. If that person is supposed to be in my life then he will find his way back to me when it’s right. Usually it’s a learning experience though and I use it to grow and make better choices in the future!

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    1. Same! I use it as a learning experience, and I can only have the conversation if I’ve grown and had space since the break up. I hate having uncertainty weighing on me, so I rather the conversation happen naturally. Thank you for reading 🙂

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  4. Yes and No. In many of my past relationships I always left the person I was with without really giving them a reason why. I hated when they would say they needed closure because to me I felt like it was a trap. The one time I tried to give someone their closure they did not come open minded and left so upset they started breaking things and calling me all kinds of names. After that I completely stopped giving the people I was leaving closure. Until I was the one getting dumped. I thought I needed closure from this person. I assumed so many things about why they was leaving me and felt like I needed answers or else I wouldn’t be able to be ME again. Even when I got my answers it still wasn’t enough for me because I still overthought things. Girl I was seeking closure for 3 years with this person (because we decided to be friends) and then it hit me. I can’t be friends with this person because I’m always going to bing up the past and feel a way about things . I just wanted the person to love me the way I loved them. Once I gave myself space from this person and actually saw them for who they really was and let go I finally stopped. I think some things are better left unsaid. It can stop you from hurting so much and I bet if I would’ve just kept it moving after he dumped me I would’ve been okay after a while if I didn’t continue being friends with him. Long story short. Closure is not needed most times you’ll never get the answer your looking for!

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    1. AGREEEEEEEEEEE 100% I never cared for closure until my last relationship. We went through hell and back with each other, and it messed up our friendship so it bothered me for a long time. It took for four years after our break up for me to get closure. I wanted it, yet I didn’t because truth does hurt. Yet, I had word vomit one day and just express how I forgave him and myself. Did I need clarity? Yes and no. Some people do not have a reasoning behind their actions. I needed it though to cure my depression. I’m happy I spoke up and expressed myself, we’re great friends again. Closure is only productive if you’re both open minded and taking accountability of actions.

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  5. I feel closure is not needed in all cases. If you have children with someone you should get closure. Nothing is worst than having to deal with a bitter baby mama or baby daddy. You two need to be on the same page and it needs to be clear that the children are what the main concern is. Closure equalls great co-parenting.

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  6. Wow! Never thought about it like that but I think you’re right. Food for thought. You’ve done a wonderful job with this blog. Well written!

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  7. i just tell him “closure mouth” and that’s that on that! i couldn’t resist that joke, don’t mind me. i don’t think closure is beneficial because at the end of the relationship, you already have an idea of what happened between you. whether he begins to become distant or crazy, you know that the relationship is not what it was and that’s what it is. a lot of people get tired to the narrative of closure they end up getting stuck in the past.

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  8. Closure is necessary for the healing process of your self. It may take time for the others involved but, to continue to receive your OWN individual blessing that you are given, you must LET IT GOOOOOOO!! God has already written your story and you have to do as ordered.
    God first, the healing process will continue.

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