On Thanksgiving day I loss my father to COVID 19 and ever since November 26, 2020 it feels as if the world is crumbling down and all I have to hold onto is my mother. I know I am not the only person affected by COVID so before I continue I’d like to send my prayers and love out to all the families. It’s a scary dangerous deadly disease. Regardless of your health conditions please continue to wash your hands, wear a mask and practice safe distance. Below I’ll list a few ways to grieve healthy that I use to help myself.lo

[I’m not a expert on mental health, just spreading awareness and healthy tips]

When you lose a parent you’ve spent every waking moment of your life with, it’s more than heartbreaking. It’s actually breath-taking. Every morning is a slap of reality that I don’t have a father anymore. The six foot four gentle giant who I call Dad will no longer greet me every morning with a kiss on the forehead. I had a great father, who cherished every moment we’ve spent together and gave my family unconditional love. He has taught me everything I know, and was my biggest supporter.

Grieving is a process and it’s something that cannot be rushed. Some days you’re okay and other days you’re miserable. Yet, you wear a fake smile everyday like it’s a new coat. You’d think people will notice the fake smile and see that you’re silently screaming for help. They don’t though, probably never will. I’ve learned people don’t ask because they either don’t care to or they think it will upset you. Only if people knew it’s more upsetting not to be asked anything, especially if you’re close to the person. After a couple of weeks, people stop checking on you. The phone calls stop and the text messages begin to delay. People go back to living their lives meanwhile you’re trying to figure out yours. Grieving is a lonely process, as well. Yes, your friends and family will say they understand yet in reality they don’t understand until they’ve taken a mile in your shoes. And it doesn’t matter how much you express yourself to someone, they will never understand. I don’t fault people though of insensitivity, being inconsiderate or ignorance about grief. Why? Simple, not everyone has shared the same relationship that you’ve cherished with your loved one. A grieving person doesn’t want advice or cliché statements and questions, they want to listened to and actually cared about. Luckily, that’s why we have therapy and due to COVID some sessions can be on the phone.

How to Grieve Healthy:

• Get a journal to express and reflect emotions

• Write a letter to your loved one

• Exercise

• Create a scrapbook or photo collage of your loved one

• Share good memories